I’m numbingly homesick for something that isn’t a place.
Anonymous said: Was your parting peaceful?
Not at fucking all.
He’s making this absolute hell.
I hate the kid so much right now, but it’s really because deep down I still love him with every inch of me. I want him to stop this, to stop being such a jackass. It’s so hard to leave a relationship you were in for almost a year and a half and have it end like such a nightmare. I loved him more than anyone else in my life. I wish I didn’t mean that, now. I really do. Because I deserve someone that wants to be with me. And trust me, at one point he did. He went completely out of his way to be with me. I really feel like he was the love of my life, at least so far. We were such a good team. It’s really hard to have that person willingly leave you and then mindfuck you for weeks. I don’t know what I did to deserve this pain. All I did was my best.
It absolutely kills me to see these pictures on his facebook of him looking so happy.
It’s not because I don’t want him to be happy, trust me.
It’s because I know the source of his happiness is my absence.
Chisel away at what is left of me
The stone wall I tried to prepare, despite never having been a mason.
With the slightest touch, a breath of wind, the smallest pieces of me fall away.
I am weathered, no longer mortared by the words you so delicately spoke.
No longer held together by the feeling that was good, all I have left is this,
This facade that is bracing for the impact, the storm, the fire.
What good is a wall, if ever it was only there to please my sense of security,
when the slightest ripple, not even a seismic wave, cracks it to the core?